Honda CRV Cup Holder Latte Adapter
by carbonbased, published
It's an early December morning. The dew is glistening on the leaves as an ill wind shakes them with the apprehension of things to come. The gray, sullen sky does little to wake my heavy eyes. I drive in a daze, with barely a conscious thought in my mind. My trusty CRV steers me to my local coffee shop and deposits me mere feet from my salvation.
My footsteps are heavy, but my heart remains hopeful. I make the seemingly endless journey from the parking lot to the front counter. Some barely audible grunts serve adequately as my order. I stand patiently, swaying like a wilting flower in the noonday sun, praying to any god that will listen for my precious latte to come before I die.
Then, like an angel bearing a sacred artifact, the radiant coffee lady hands me my latte with a smile. The bright lights behind her silhouette her in darkness while surrounding her with a brilliant white glow. I swear to myself that one day, I will marry her.
I spend some time preparing my latte with just the right amount of sugar and I stir it with all my might, for these things must be done properly. Finally, it is ready. But I dare not drink it. No, the time is not yet right.
I make the return journey across the dark, blustery parking lot of despair and climb into my faithful CRV. I place my precious latte into the factory cup holder and rest my full faith in the craftsmen who built it. I turn my still foggy mind towards work, using all of my mental strength to decide what I will do for the day. As I contemplate my future, I make a left out of the parking lot, giving the gas pedal some extra pressure, urging the CRV to hurry before the traffic catches us up.
The power surges, the CRV turns hard, the latte goes airborne. My heart seizes with terror and sadness as I see my precious latte explode against the passenger-side door. The caffeine rich coffee drips down the inside of the door as rain drips down the outside and tears drip down my face. â€œI didn't even have a sip. Not one sip,â€ I sob as rage boils up from the depths of my soul and I swear vengeance against anyone and everyone. I rail against fate, against God, and the bastard who designed that cup holder. I swear to myself then and there that this shall never ever happen again.
And so I made this cup holder adapter. I urge you to make it and use it. It just might save your latte one day.
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Print with no support and perhaps 75% infill. You'll want it to be sturdy as it has an important job to do. The adapter will press-fit into the factory cup holder between the seats, at least on my 2000 model it does. The inside of the adapter is tapered to hug your precious beverage cup. It is designed specifically for the "grande" size of a certain arguably overpriced coffee house, but will work fine for other sizes and brands as well.